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  “Roll over,” he demanded. I narrowed my eyes at him. No one bossed me around like that. Seeing the look on my face, he removed his fingers and sat back, the bulge in his shorts beyond obvious.

  He was challenging me. Do what he said or he was going to stop. He lifted his hand, the one that had just been sending me to Heaven and back, and licked every one of his fingers like they were the tastiest lollipops he’d ever had. His eyes oscillated from my face to my bare body, heaving from being left hanging.

  Johnny

  My dick was screaming to be let free, but I wasn’t budging. She was going to submit and roll over and let me give it to her the way I wanted.

  It seemed like hours had gone by when it had only been seconds. I still couldn’t believe I’d gotten this far. If we stopped now, I’d take care of myself when I got home. What I wouldn’t do was play by her game. She was mine, at least for the night.

  Bex mumbled under her breath before turning over onto her stomach. I caught something about ‘fucking brute.’ I grinned, dropping my shorts quickly and pulling out a condom. Her perfect ass called to me, so I smacked it just before running my shaft in between her ass cheeks.

  “Goddamn perfect ass,” I said, gripping her hips with my hands. “I’m so glad you turned over. What a good girl.”

  “I’m not a fucking good girl,” she spat.

  “Dirty mouth,” I said. “I think you need something in your mouth to shut you up.”

  “You can’t shut me up,” she bitched. God, this girl was something.

  I positioned myself at her entrance and slid in, seating myself all the way. She gasped, lifting so she could take more. I noticed she was no longer talking. Look who was right.

  I pounded into her from behind, holding her hips as I took what I wanted. She moaned and cursed and gripped the sheets. I could feel her tightening up too soon, so I pulled out abruptly.

  “Son of a . . .” Bex turned her head to glare at me. “What the fuck are you doing?”

  “Get up.”

  She narrowed her eyes at me but did it much quicker than she’d obeyed the first time. I flung off my shirt, her eyes following across my tattoos and down to my dick. Yeah, I knew I was big. Not that it mattered. What you did with it was way more important than how far it went down a girl’s throat.

  “Like what you see?” I stroked myself, the condom slick with her arousal.

  Bex rolled her eyes. She was by far the sassiest, bitchiest woman I’d ever fucked. And I had the feeling I was going to enjoy it. A lot.

  I hovered over her, grabbing her lips with mine. Her hand found my dick, and she caressed its length lightly, running her fingernails over my balls. I moaned, my mouth leaving hers and making a path down her body. She tasted a little sweaty and a whole lot of sexy. I licked both of her nipples, loving the way they tightened up in my mouth. Making my way south, I stopped and licked her belly button piercing, my fingers finding their way back inside her. I moved past her bare mound and to the inside of her legs, which were quivering around my head.

  “Johnny.” My name fell off of her lips like a prayer, and for a moment my heart stirred. My eyes snapped to her face, but her eyes were squeezed shut. I buried my face in her, licking and sucking her lips until she began riding me. That was my cue to stop.

  I pulled back, releasing my fingers. Her eyes flew open. “You are a . . .”

  I slammed my dick back inside her and she went silent. “What was that? I’m a . . . what? A dick? Why yes, I do have a big dick. You’re feeling it right now.” No more words were said as I took her how I wanted, spread out underneath me. Her hair was fanned behind her, and her eyes were watching my every move.

  Lifting her leg, I went deeper, feeling the familiar tightening coming down my back. It was almost time, and damn it I didn’t want it to be over yet. I watched as her gorgeous breasts bounced with the force of me slamming into her.

  “Don’t stop,” Bex called out, reaching down and touching herself.

  “Oh no, you don’t,” I growled, removing her hand. “You don’t get yourself off while I’m fucking you. I do that for you.”

  She moved her head back and forth on the mattress, her breath coming out in short bursts. Her mouth was moving, but nothing was coming out. I’d rendered her speechless, just the way I liked it.

  Sweat was rolling down my chest as I watched myself slide in and out of her beautiful body. She was tightening around me again, and I knew it was almost time to let us both go. I reached my hand between her legs and rubbed her hard while picking up my tempo inside her.

  “Yes! Yes, Johnny! Fuck that! Oh . . . my . . . God . . .”

  “That’s right, baby,” I grunted, flicking her clit with my finger. “You tighten that sweet pussy around me and give me what you got. Milk that, honey. Oh yeah, just like that. Ahhhh . . . fuck . . .”

  My release was so hard and fast I almost lost my breath. Bex was gripping anything she could touch, her back arching as she rode the wave of her orgasm. As we both came down, her eyes opened, staring a hole into me. I had no idea what she was thinking, but all I knew was I had to have her at least a million more times before I would be satisfied.

  “Holy. Fucking. Shit.” Bex sat up, running her hands through her disheveled hair.

  I grinned, sliding off the condom and dropping it in the garbage. “I take that as a good holy fucking shit because that’s what it was for me. I knew you’d be fucking awesome, but that was just beyond.”

  She stood up, arching her back, pushing her breasts out. I couldn’t stop myself. I had to suck them again. I pushed them together and buried my face there, my dick standing at attention again. He wanted to be there. I pushed her so she sat on the edge of the bed and I bent, holding her tits together as I slid my now rock hard shaft in between them. She watched me, her lids hooded for a few seconds before she moved.

  Bex cupped my ass with her hands and kneaded, pulling me closer into her. I groaned, pumping faster as her tongue found my belly button.

  “Can’t get enough,” I grunted. Her soft skin was just about my undoing. The only thing she could do better than that was . . .

  As if she read my mind, Bex bent her head and licked the tip of my shaft, sending shooting desire through every cell of my body. I put my hands in her hair, guiding her as she took me into her mouth. She licked along the underside of my dick and then the head, taking it in her mouth for just a second before licking the topside. Bex was fondling my balls, her nails scratching as she opened up and took me fully inside her hot mouth.

  Within seconds, I could feel myself hitting the back of her throat. She took all of me, moving and sucking as I held her head. I tried not to move too much, but I couldn’t help it. How did she get control of this situation? And did I care? As she scraped her teeth ever so gently against my sensitive skin, I decided I didn’t give a fuck at all. She could do whatever she wanted as long as she didn’t stop.

  “Bex,” I breathed, watching as her mouth took me all the way in and back out. She looked up at me, the gleam in her eyes sending me straight over the edge. I shot into her mouth, groaning her name over and over as I came down. She took every bit of it and popped me out of her mouth.

  “Now you say it,” she teased. Whatever she wanted me to say, I would.

  I stared at her like my brain cells were missing, which I think they were. “Say what?”

  Bex stood, cupping my still semi-erect shaft in her small but oh-so-powerful hand. She tilted her face to mine and kissed me, sucking my tongue into her mouth. I could taste myself. While I couldn’t say I’d never done that before, doing it with her was something else.

  My brain cells started firing somewhat once she pulled back and smiled. Wow. She was so beautiful. “What did you want me to say again? I think my brain might be working now.”

  She stepped back and grabbed the towel, wrapping it around her body. I frowned, not at all done with what I wanted to do with her and to her. Bex shook her head. “Never mind. I really do need to
take a shower now and then eat something.”

  I was being dismissed. She’d had her way with me and was kicking me out. I whistled. “Wham bam, huh?”

  “You can see yourself out,” she said, stopping at the doorway to the bathroom and turning back to me. “Same time tomorrow?”

  I pulled on my shorts. “So I guess my arrangement suits you?”

  Bex rolled her eyes. “I’m not stroking your fucking ego again. We got each other off. Twice. I’m dirty—even dirtier now—, hungry, and tired. Get out.”

  I left the room with a giant smile on my face. She was a live wire but damn if I wasn’t going to make the most of it. I already had a few ideas for tomorrow night.

  I flipped the pancake, pushing it down with the spatula. Turning back to the eggs, I stirred them so they wouldn’t stick and stuck a plate of bacon into the microwave. My ear buds were blasting Seether into my ears, my foot tapping in rhythm on the floor.

  I’d had maybe three hours of sleep but it felt like twenty. For the first time in what might have been years, I hadn’t had any form of a nightmare at all. I hadn’t stopped replaying every single second of having sex with Bex since I left her room. When I’d gone back down to the bar, Cal had eyed me very suspiciously. I hadn’t said a word but I thought he probably knew anyway. I’d wanted to gloat that he’d been wrong, but that wasn’t the way I operated.

  Of course when I’d gotten home Julia and Carter were long asleep. I pulled out one of my ear buds, remembering I wanted to get Calia when she woke up so Julia and Carter could get a few extra minutes of sleep. It was Saturday, after all. I knew I couldn’t feed her or anything, but I could at least change her diaper and try to entertain her.

  My thoughts drifted back to Bex. I visualized her writhing underneath me, both loving and hating herself for it. She was a complex girl, but I could appreciate that about her. She didn’t care about telling me what she thought or felt, and I found that oddly refreshing. She reminded me of . . . me. Tonight was their last night performing at The Outrigger. Next week’s focus band was a mid-forties heavy metal group. I wasn’t excited about them, or maybe it was just because following Jaded Regret was rather difficult.

  Cal had already asked me to talk to Natalie about setting up Jaded Regret right after they came home from the tour with Halestorm. They weren’t booking anything in the next month or he’d probably want them before they left. Business had been great, and he was ecstatic about it.

  If I was honest with myself, it was going to be hard to only have two nights with Bex. Not because I wanted more—I wasn’t cut out for that, ever—but because she was so much fun to be around. While her bitchy attitude might turn some off, I got it. I understood it. Of course I didn’t know her story—she was very close-lipped about that—but I could tell she had one. Hell, didn’t we all. Just like me, she didn’t want to talk about it. I could relate. And that was quite possibly what made me want to keep her around. For a fuck buddy, of course. And maybe a friend. Not that I knew what that entailed. I hadn’t had a real friend in too many years to count.

  I would never say that to her, of course. She probably would rip off my balls and shove them down my throat as Cal had warned me about. Then I thought about what she actually had done to my balls and grinned again. Damn, that girl was talented. I wanted to try out so many things with her. Things I didn’t have time to do in just one more night. Such was life.

  I heard a small noise and pulled out the other ear bud, listening for Calia. I knew Julia had one of those monitor things in her room, so I’d have to be quick. She could hear that girl from a million miles away. I guessed it was a mother thing. Not that I ever had one that had that instinct. I turned off the burners and moved the food to the side to cool.

  Walking down the hall, I pushed Calia’s door open softly so I wouldn’t wake her if she wasn’t up yet. I stepped in and she turned her head, her eyes wide as she took me in. Please don’t cry, I willed her. I walked to her crib and lifted her out, careful to hold her head like Julia had instructed me. I’d never in my life held a baby before Calia.

  I found the other end of the monitor and turned it off so our rustling wouldn’t wake Julia. I laid Calia on her changing table and pulled open her pajamas like I’d watched Julia do. This couldn’t be too hard, right? My niece watched me, her big eyes blinking.

  “Yeah, I know. I’m not who you thought I’d be, and you aren’t too sure if I know what I’m doing. I don’t, but we’re in this together, right baby girl? I mean, how hard could this be?”

  I found a stack of diapers in the first drawer and cheered silently. Heck yeah. I’ve got this. I undid the straps of her diaper and opened it. Thank fuck. Just pee. Wait. I’d seen Julia wipe her with something. Where were they? I held onto Calia and looked back in the drawer. Ah, yes. Wipes. There we go. I took one out and wiped her gently. She squirmed a little.

  “That’s probably cold, isn’t it? Hey, your mommy should warm those up for you. It’s not your Uncle Johnny’s fault, though, okay?”

  I pulled off the old diaper and opened the new one. I was a pro at this! I put the new one under her and looked for the fasteners. Where did they go? I lifted her legs and looked under her. Yep. Wrong side. I took it out and turned it over.

  Just then I heard snorting at the door. “Need some help?” I turned, narrowing my eyes at Julia.

  She stepped into the room, greeting Calia. Julia eyed my progress on the diaper. “Did you wipe her?”

  “Yes,” I said. “Tell her, Calia. We were just fine without her. She was supposed to sleep in.”

  Calia blew bubbles at her mom and smiled, kicking her legs. Julia smiled, leaning over and kissing her daughter on the nose. “And what was Uncle Johnny going to feed you with? I don’t think you’re going to get much out of those.”

  Julia put her hand on my bare chest, over one of the many tattoos. She never asked me what they meant or why I got them. I knew she wanted to know, but she didn’t push me. We laughed.

  “No, I was just trying to give you a few more minutes to rest.”

  Julia stepped up on her tiptoes and kissed my cheek. “I love you, Johnny. Thank you. Have I told you lately how much I love you being here?”

  I strapped the diaper onto my niece and buttoned her pajamas back up. Picking her up, I kissed her soft cheek. She smiled, gracing me with the same dimple Julia had. “I love you too, Jules. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.”

  “Stay here,” she said, taking Calia from me. “What’s in Denver anymore anyway? You seem to like living here and have a job now, so why not stay?”

  I’d thought about it many times last night. Julia lived here with the only family I cared about being near. “I’ll think about it. I do love it here. But even if I stayed, I’d get my own place.”

  Julia frowned at me. “Here we go again.” She settled Calia in her arms in the rocking chair and began nursing her. Calia gripped on to Julia’s finger as she suckled. A pain I couldn’t describe went through my chest at the two of them. I knew I didn’t want that. I’d never be a good parent and was very careful not to become one. I didn’t want to be tied down to one woman for a lifetime, much less a woman and a child. But just once it would be nice to be loved so unconditionally like that.

  “I made breakfast,” I changed the subject.

  “You did? What are you doing up so early on Saturday anyway? Or did you just get in?”

  “No, I got in about three. I just couldn’t sleep.”

  Julia watched me, trying to read me. “Why?”

  “It was a crazy night at the bar,” I said. That was true, of course. Just not the way she thought. “Jaded Regret brought in huge crowds.”

  “That’s so amazing that they’re from here. You said they’re opening for Halestorm?”

  “Yes. Leaving next month to do a U.S. tour with them.”

  “Carter likes them,” Julia explained. “You know me. I’m more of a country girl.”

  An idea came to me. “Carter should com
e to the show! Tonight is the last night. I can get him VIP seating if he wants.”

  “He’d probably love that,” Julia said. “You can ask him when he gets up. I usually try to let him sleep in on Saturdays. He hates it when I do, but I do it anyway. He works so hard during the week and helps me with the baby any time he can.”

  Julia switched Calia to the other side. “I got so lucky, Johnny.” She looked around and then back to me. “Look at what I have. There are some days I can’t believe this is my life now.”

  “You deserve it. You always have.”

  Julia wiped her eye. “Damn, I’m so emotional these days. Thank you, Johnny. You deserve it too, you know.”

  No, I didn’t. She was sweet as hell for thinking I did, as always, but I didn’t. “I’m going to warm breakfast up. I made pancakes, eggs, and bacon. I hope that’s okay.”

  I heard Julia sigh from behind me, but she didn’t say anything else. “Sounds great. Thanks for doing that. I’ll be out in a few minutes.”

  “Hey, you never told us how Dr. Mia was the other day.” Carter munched on his piece of bacon. Nestled in his arms was a sleeping Calia. True to what Julia said, he’d come out fifteen minutes after we’d eaten breakfast. He’d chastised Julia for not waking him when Calia was up, then promptly took his daughter and put her right back to sleep.

  I loved the way that man loved my sister and their daughter. I wished to be even a fraction of the man he was, but I knew I never would be. The only love I had was for the people in this house. My heart wasn’t capable of feeling anything for anyone else. Lust, yes. Attraction, yes. But closeness? Die for you type of love? No. Just not possible.

  I’d thought that was possible once. I’d been young, stupid and naive. I’d thought at twenty years old that the girls that hung around ‘waiting to get discovered’ were in the same boat as me. Young, driven, and chasing their dreams. Except that’s not what they’d been for at all. I’d made the mistake of falling for a girl once before. Once they’d figured that out, she had been fair game. A game they made sure I painfully lost.